You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
