Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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