So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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