I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
