K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
