i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
