He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
