Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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