Someone shit on the floor
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
