I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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