whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
