She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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