Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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