if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
