dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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