ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
