Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
