mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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