lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
