hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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