Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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