Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
