And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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