ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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