Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
