Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She bit a glass in half.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
