The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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