Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
