i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
