So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
