Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
