I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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