As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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