marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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