did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
