Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
