Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Randomize
