Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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