Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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