Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
