He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
