apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
