I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
you never un-have a 4some
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
