The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
