Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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