A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
