youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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