Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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