I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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