I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Jerry, you need to find god
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Randomize
